How's that for a slice of fried gold?
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Rating System
Our not-quite-normal rating system that we use for every movie.
  • Steaming Piles of Garbage
    These are movies that are rated a 1 or a 2. They have no redeeming qualities. Steer clear of these. We won't even let you know where to watch them.
  • Hard Dog Shit
    These are movies that are rated a 3 or close to a 4. They have some redeeming qualities, maybe a quality murder scene or two. Probably not worth your time.
  • Freshly Prepared Bull Penis
    It's like you're visiting somewhere new and want to try something cultural and different and they plot a bull penis on your plate. You'll eat it, begrudgingly. These are the 4-5's.
  • Moderately Satisfying Salad
    Like you're out to eat with friends and you order a salad to be healthy but your friend gets the best looking burger you've ever seen. Your salad has no dressing. These are the 6's.
  • Delicious French Fry
    Straight out of the fryer and perfectly seasoned. These movies satisfy but don't have the special qualities that would bring it higher than an 8.
  • Slice of Fried Gold
    The holy grail of movies. Almost perfect 9's and perfect 10's. If you haven't seen the ones that are a slice of fried gold, close this webpage and go enjoy.